This week has been the worse ever. You know the whole story where, when a girl and a guy get together and end up having an accidental thing happen, for example-getting drunk and that night you end up giving something up that you've planned on saving for the right time. Fine-you lose your virginity! Well this is the beginning of my extremely bad week.
My life was great before this happened. I had so many friends that I thought would always be on my side, I didn't and still don't have a boyfriend but I was okay with that. My friends (or so called...I haven't quite figured that out yet...) are members of a Greek organization, and ever since I got to know them really well, I've wanted to be apart of what they had. A true sisterhood and a bond that could never be broken. I thought that it would have been so amazing to call all of them "sister."
This last Friday this Greek organization decided to go out and have fun with the perspective members (future pledges). We went to a house and we were all having lots of fun. Well a few of us decided to stay at the house because we knew we were way to intoxicated to go back to the school (lol). Well this guy and I got very intimate with each other and I ended up losing my precious virginity to a guy I didn't exactly know all that well. The next morning I get up, get my friend and we go back to school. The guy called me and we decided that it would be a very good idea to get the morning after pill, just to be on the safe side-GOOD IDEA :)
The Greek's that took me to this house found out about everything I had done and let me tell you...it hasn't been easy these last few days.
I don't know about anything anymore. I'm pretty sure that I am not going to be apart of this sisterhood that I had intended on being apart of. I've lost so many of my friends, I walk around the campus and I get these horrible glares at me, I watch so many people talking about me, and this whole time I'm smiling and pretending that I have no idea about what's going on.
It is the worst feeling ever, when you know that you're all alone and you have no one to talk to. I honestly wish everyday that something would happen to me to make people feel sorry about the things they have said. I didn't want things to end up like this at all, but my luck is really bad and too make things that much harder, I only have one friend I can count on and she's not a serious person at all. I hate the spotlight being on me and I am honestly going through this all on my own...why? Because no one even cares about how I feel anymore. The guy is not having any problems at all-he just gets a nice slap in the ass, but not me, not the girl, I just get looked at like a slut!
I was told today that I was avoiding the Greek organization (the one I was talking about earlier) but I am only one person and there are about 8 of them. You'd think that one or two of them would come and talk to me or help me get through this hell, but nope-even that is my fault. I'm sorry about all of my complaints, I really should just move on, but I feel like I need to get this off of my chest.
I've never been a person who could handle stress, so hopefully this may help.
Thank you for reading my blog...if you actually do read it!
and If you are one of these people, then you can finally see what I'm really going through!
Love,
The girl who is not dancing in the rain!
I'll have to post a poem that I wrote two years ago so you can understand me!
