Not that anyone is going to read this, but I decided I would come to lash out every so often. I now have a roommate on campus, and although I adore this person dearly, she is so annoying. I have yet to meet someone that can talk as much as her. I hate how some people can just talk, talk, talk, and not seem to realize the people around who are clearly agitated. Being that I am bipolar, I fear for my inability to control my temper at times. An annoyed me is a very angry me, and no one likes me when I'm angry. How is this going to work? I have another semester of this to deal with and she hasn't even lived with me for one week and she is already getting on my nerves. On the bright side she is well aware of my disorder and I have prepared her for the absolute worst. On the other hand, I'm not sure if I have been told of my absolute worst. I have lashed out on so many and came to realization of what I had done soon enough to apologize a million times, but can I save myself this time? Goodness, I'm so worried for future days in my room.
One thing I absolutely can not stand is being judged. It always seems to be a constant battle for me when it comes to the ultimate judgement. I eat one piece of chicken (tiny piece) because I miss out on lunch and I'm too hungry to wait until dinner and all of a sudden, I'm seen as already full. I have absolutely no issue saying I'm a chunky girl. I'm comfortable in my own skin, but why is it that people must always judge. If a skinny girl eats a tiny piece of chicken they're seen as anorexic or something, but a big girl, nah, definitely not okay for her to go to dinner in an hour. Oy! This is reason why I result to my over thinking. Yes, I'm slightly hungry now, and if I want to eat a piece of chicken, I will. LOL!
On a different note, I have a new picture for my computer. It's not my desktop picture or anything fancy of the sort, but it's a picture I hand drew during a totally fake history class that was set up in the science building on campus. Ha, funny story to that. Basically (if this girl - hmmm's- one more time I'm going to scream- erg...), my history professor seen me down the hall on one of the computers and called me over after seeing I was finished. I walk down and he pulls this "they're doing a history of photography session, it should only last about 15 minutes, but they really need people to sit in and listen." Yes, I was that gullible. I completely fell for it and I walked in. First off, I should have realized that there are absolutely no history sessions that last only 15 minutes, least not on a college campus. Secondly, this professor has no business in the science building. He's a well known, well respected man, but an amazing historian. He's a great guy, but apparently knows me better then I know myself. Come on... I might be blonde, but am I truly that gullible.
Oh yes, the picture. During the totally fake lecture, my history professor was talking about Napoleon. No big deal, it's what historians do. Well, the whole part of this lecture was so the photographers could get pictures inside a classroom. I will be the first to tell you that I pray that none of the pictures taken of me make the campus newspaper because I was not looking too good. My hair was falling out of the ponytail, I had on an oversized white t-shirt, navy blue sweats, and tennis shoes. Oh yes, I looked that bad. The other students were very well groomed, their hair done up almost perfectly and they had clothes on that I would wear out to a club or something. Surprisingly enough, I was okay with all of this. I sat at the weird shaped table and I was the only one paying attention to my professors lecture. Back to the photographer. He paused the lecture and asked us students to pretend to listen. I can't pretend to do something I'm actually doing, I'm a history major, I'm going to pay attention. I did the next best thing though. I started "writing" down the notes. In other words, I was drawing images of what all he had described. He then started talking about Napoleon, for the third time, ha, many breaks in between the photo shoot. I drew, poorly that is, a stick figured man, standing tall with feet, arms one hand (the other was hidden), a Trojan helmet, a shield, and a short sword. The stick mans arms were straight out from each other like he's about to hug someone, in one hand, he's holding a shield, the other, he's madly gripping the sword, absolutely prepared for battle. While all of this is going down, my professor from out of the blue shouts CHARGE!!! You ask what I did next? Yes, I drew the speech bubble and wrote out CHAAARRRRGGGGEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! Underneath my beautiful portrait of the stick figured Napoleon, I wrote Napoleon [insert professors last name here]. At the end of the photo shoot, the photographer asked if we had learned something. All the other students laughed and exited the room, but me, no, I stood up proudly and said, "I took amazing notes!" The professor walked over to me and snatched my paper from my hand and looked and he said, "wow, just like in class!" Just to make things clear, I don't doodle in class and I have the millions of pages of notes to prove so, lol! He did get a very good laugh out of my doodle, as did the photography staff. It was so funny, and then my professor hands me back the paper and told me to sign the picture and he actually gave me extra credit for doing it. Ha, I would never had believed it, but that man, I just know it, but I know that man had something up his sleeve. I had missed a few of his classes and as you all would suspect, it kind of hurt my grade. Life of being medically ill practically all of the time. He knew I needed the extra points and he found a way to do so. I know it seems irrational, no professor is supposed to really do that without offering it to every one of his students, but I like to think that he just wanted to help me out academically.
Now thinking about it, I wonder if he still has the picture I drew in his totally fake history class.
If you do actually read this blog, I hope you enjoy. This really helped me and it's always nice to have a place to rant when you clearly can't go to someones face about it. Ha!
For now, so long, farewell, and have a nice day/night. I trust yours will go by much happier then mine has today, but I can't complain too much. I'm alive and finally well for the time being. It's real homework time. Bah humbug!
Tschau!
P.S. I you all enjoy the pic and all of its ridiculousness. ^_^
